Real-to-attractive actress seeks New York representation:

- Plays 35-ish to 40-ish nurturing white ladies/bitchy white ladies/creepy white ladies/depressed white ladies

- Not ethnically ambiguous by any stretch of the imagination 

- Looks like Ann Dowd and Laura Linney fought to the death and their surviving DNA went to Vassar

- Trained in improv, comedy, Shakespeare, voiceover, and taking everything in the universe personally

- Good with kids and animals. Likes working with kids and animals. Does  not mind being upstaged by kids and animals. Hides behind kids and  animals. Often told “please come out from behind that cow and say  your lines so it doesn’t appear the cow is saying your lines”

- Was mentored by Gena Rowlands. No, seriously 

- Can tell you she wants a shark in Croatian

All interested parties please contact Dakota Shepard.